My Mum died from breast cancer on November 22nd when I as 23 years old. I feel her loss every year on this day. The years since it happened doesn’t make it any easier.
When someone dies often there are lots of family around to help the one left behind. When a loss occurs close to the holidays family and friends rally around to try and make the holidays easier. They bring food, share memories and try to make sure those grieving are surrounded by love and support.
So the first year of the holidays is usually covered when someone is grieving. But what about the next year, the year after that…
The loss of a loved one close to Christmas is always difficult to deal with. After the first year friends and family tend to go back to their own routine. They tend to forget about the person who has lost a loved one. Life takes over, goes back to more normal for them and the grieving person is left more to cope on their own.
Until the holidays roll around. Then you wonder what you can do to make it better.
With the anniversary of my Mum’s death I started to think what would help during this time and I came up with some ideas that I think will make a difference to someone you love who is feeling a great loss at this time of year.
Personal time gifts you can give are:
1. Always the perfect present is your time with them. If you can take them out for coffee, dinner, anything to spend time with them. Take time to listen, empathize. Follow up with a call or two over the holidays.
2. Offer a service to them. Maybe they need help to clean out closets, drawers, give away items to the needy. Just be sure that they are well past the major grieving stage or they may let you box up items that that wish they hadn’t years later.
3. Take a few minutes to call on Christmas eve and Christmas day. A familiar voice can make a world of difference to someone.
Here are some gifts you can purchase that I think will not only make their Christmas day bright, but will bring a smile to them long past the day.
Sending flowers is a lovely idea but they only last so long. A flower of the month club, like orchids, will not only last a long time, but be a great gift month after month. check it out here
When someone is dealing with grief food is usually the last thing they think about. They may have a hard time taking pleasure in preparing food for one or working in the kitchen where old memories of their loved one still fill the air.
So a few ideas are:
A gourmet breakfast club. A monthly arrival of breakfast treats that they will love. Check them out here
Or, how about dinner and a movie club. They will not only get a dinner every month but a movie. Check it out here
Or another great idea is soul soothing gifts. These not only help the heart feel better but also the body and soul. Check them out here.
Any of these will be great for any holiday they are trying to get through.
Mum, I love you and miss you with all my heart!